Ruben Carbajal

is too pretty for homework.

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VISITORS ignore several sculptures, drawn to a bundle of wires sticking out of wall. They approve. ELECTRICIAN installs EXIT sign. #tp129

How to get noticed in NYC: smile.

Michelle Bachmann claims recent disasters are messages from God. God’s message: I’m aiming at you, Michelle.

“Let them eat wake.” — Mayor Bloomberg to Riker’s Island Inmates

I, Rene #ReplaceMovieTitleWithIrene

Rick Perry’s plan to turn around the economy: buy life insurance policies on all citizens, then push them off of trains.

I think the weatherman’s saying, from meteorologic standpoint, Irene has a nice ass.

Condoleezza Rice blushes, as she slips her gold-framed album of Gaddafi pics back under her pillow.

In preparation for Irene, I’ve preemptively resorted to cannibalism.