“I don’t think God’s through with me.”-John Edwards (No: lightning bolts are in reserve)
Bloomberg wants to ban the sale of 16oz sugary drinks. Won’t soda freaks just buy two 12 oz cans, thereby drinking 8oz more?
TNT is bringing back Dallas. Who shot J.R.? Spoiler: The hospice doctor.
If ‘toil’ is your favorite flavor, then go with the peasant bread.
Playwrights–need some editing inspiration?
Is Eurovision a pair of glasses that allows you to see Greek people leaving?
Look out Burlington Coat Factory, you’ve got competition. Namely, the desperate drunk outside my apt hawking a wool trench to passing cars.
There are two types of people: those who broadly generalize humanity into distinct categories, and those who don’t.
BREAKING: Siri files restraining order against iphone user John Malkovich.