I’ve decided to rebrand Black Friday and stand in a doorbuster line dressed like Robert Smith.

Let’s make things easier for everyone: raise your hand if haven’t been molested by Sandusky or groped by Cain.

And in a blatant move to appeal to the center, Newt Gingrich calls for the end of child labor laws.

Black Friday AKA Occupy Best Buy.

Just finished setting my Thanksgiving table, and it looks great. It’s just a bit chilly here in front of Best Buy.

Quit whining about Pizza. In my day, ketchup was designated as a vegetable.

Scientists create lightest material on Earth. For perspective, the ultralight microlattice weighs less than than Mila Kunis’ poo.

“I don’t listen to music.”–Yanni (Why writers should read often and as many authors as they possibly can)

Upcoming Penn State Riots: Pro Gadhaffi Fun Run, In Support of Disgraced Priests, Free Lindsay Lohan, Michael Vick Appreciation Spree

Dear Theatre Companies: Playwrights have a few gentle suggestions.
http://t.co/jkPtWPYc
(Thanks to @GwydionS)